DEERPLOW

THE NEW YORK DIARY: July 5-9

2007-07-15T15:52:00.000-07:00

Thursday July 5
---

3:51am
Woke up. Worried that the alarm might not go off. Does this mean I am turning into my father? It could also be related to my last flight to Sweden in which the following happened:
1/Got up early to pack
2/Finished packing went back to bed
3/Woke up 40 minutes before my flight was supposed to depart in a panic. Somehow I had set my alarm but not "activated" it. Stupid system.
4/Ran outside desperate to find a taxi, and for once, in the middle of the day, it actually did work out. Are there actually more taxis that work at night or does it just feel like that?

I ended up making the flight - though in the rush I somehow forgot my passport. The interesting thing about that, after the initial panic, was the fact that I was somehow able to fly to Sweden and then back to Germany with only my Swedish ID card. I am always amazed when I hear about the government actually foiling a terrorist plot.

4:15
Bread, tomatoes and cheese for breakfast.

4:40
Catch the S-Bahn, and then bus to the airport.

5:20
Check in at the Alitalia counter. They have a sign flashing regarding the fact that there is NO WAY carry on is allowed to be over 5kg. That is even more insane than the already insane 10kg limit. If they are going to be that anal about it they may as well just sell us our tickets by the kilo - body mass included. Of course they didn't check.

6:10
Board the Alitalia flight. The plane has the oldest seats I have sat on while flying in the last 10 years or so. They are also a terrible shade of green.

6:50
Shortly after takeoff they hand out a rancid slice of meringue pie. It is so bad that even I, airline food lover - not to mention starving - cannot manage more than a couple bites. The MUST KNOW how much that this pie sucks. Assholes.

7:00
The black guy sitting ahead of me JAMS his seat back at high velocity into my legs. And these old seats seem to go a few degrees farther back than newer ones. I immediately and for the rest of the trip now think of him as some rich robber baron from some poor african country that is so ruthless no one has ever told him anything he does could be in the least discomforting.

8:00
Arrive and have to take a bus. I had no idea we needed to take a bus so I took my sweet time getting off the plane. The bus was waiting for me as I was the last person on. I am not a fan of airports where you have to take a bus to or from the terminal and the plane. It is often the least pleasant part of the flight. Unless they serve lemon meringue pie.

8:15
Have to go through a passport check and the guy loses his shit for a minute because I don't have a boarding pass (I have to get one at the transfer desk, which is on the other side of the passport check). A second security guard hustles over - with body language indicating that it has been far too long since he got to do an invasive body search - and things are tense until I finally whip out a luckily printed out flight itinerary.

8:30
Get my transfer. I don't know if it just because their computers don't have any graphics, but I always feel like airport staff are running everything on commodore 64s.

8:50
Get some turgid airport food and spend 10 euro doing it. I need to get better at packing snacks. A 10 euro meal in Berlin would be a feast.

9:20
Sit down in one of the incredibly comfortable seats at the Milan airport that even has a built in footstool. Perhaps he highlight of the trip so far. Have almost 2 hours to kill so start working on formatting my thesis title pages. I am tired. One hour of sleep is not enough.

11:00
First am told that my silver medallion status does not entitle me an upgrade, even though they do have business class seats available on the flight. Then, when I go up and speak to a different representative they apologize that they cannot upgrade me because there are no more available seats. What the hell happened in the meantime? And I have to take a bus to the plane.

11:40
They make me put my laptop away insanely early, so I work on the crossword. Get stuck with about 4 words left. Hate that. Am sitting next to a businessman with fish on his belt. Man, do I ever sometimes feel like I don't want to have a career. He is now going through the receipts from his trip.

13:30
Tried to nap a bit and woke up to see that the movie is "Blades of Glory". Seen it. Not impressed that there are no individual screens on the flight, but perhaps it will aid me in getting a bit more sleep. That and the fact that my computer battery is about to die. I am starving.

14:30
Finally got food. The stewardess is on her first flight and already fucked up giving out the customs forms so I am a bit dubious about the results when I ask her for a second meal. I always do second meal. Only time I did third meal, that I remember, was on our trip to Mexico during reading week. Still can't believe I never went to a traditional get drunk/get pussy reading week during university. I will have a few things to tell my kids (if they are boys).

16:06
Had a moment with the businessman next to me when I swore under my breath about the seatbelt/no-smoking sign dinging every minute or so. His response:
-Tell me about it.

18:32
Getting close now. Have been drowsing, but no real sleep. I wonder how long I am going to hold out on sleeping pills. I wonder why the fuck I have held out this long. On the screens (still can't believe there aren't individual screens on this flight - should be mandatory on trans-ocean flights) there is some movie or some show I have seen before on an airplane but years before. It was terrible. Some black kid working at a convenience store gets held up and is afraid to tell on the guy who did the robbery because they know each other and the other guy is a big tough thug. This sucks. And I can't change the channel.

SWITCHING TO NEW YORK TIME

15:10
Arrive, get off and get my stuff. Fairly uneventful. Find out that it is a bit of a crock of shit to get into Manhattan. Need to take an "Air Train" from the terminal a few miles out and then jump on the E train. So the FIRST strike is that there is not a direct way to go from the airport to downtown on public transit. The SECOND even bigger strike is that you can ride anywhere you want on a $2 subway ticket in new york, but somehow the magical air train thinks nothing of charging 5 additional dollars. What a crock of shit. Sorry, but your airport kind of sucks if you don't have the option of taking public transit all the way there. Fuck you air train.

16:50
Finally get into Manhattan at 53rd and 5th. Can switch lines and ride one station to get closer to the law office I am meeting Dave at but it is rammed with people and sweltering on the subway platform. I am amazed by how many police officers there are everywhere here. At this subway platform alone I count 6.

17:20
Get to Dave's office. Am sweating and stinking. The sport jacket which was necessary in Berlin killed me on the walk over. Being in New York feels good. Takes a while to ring up to Dave, but he finally arrives and we head briefly up to his office. I feel like if they are spending 100 bucks on lunch for everyone every day the least they might be able to do is try and make the offices look kind of sweet. Guess not. They seem to figure an aeron chair and a view of manhattan should pretty much do it. Are Aeron chairs REALLY the most comfortable chairs in the world or are businesses really that goddamn predictable? I mean, if you have a few bucks to spend why not try and spend it at least with a moderate amount of imagination?

18:30
Get to Dave's apartment. 223 west 21st. It's a nice place on the 4th floor.

19:20
Have some gin on the rocks. Am so tired I start getting drunk right away.

20:25
Finally, after talking about how hungry we are for some time, get burritos at a place close to Dave's. They are incredible. I get the Bob Marley jerk chicken. Wonder how much the first two words of the name add to sales.

21:10
Arrive at 14th and 1st, maybe it's called the East Village. Saw in the Vice guide that that is "the place". We walk down Avenue B. Full of lots of bars that all look like fun but all kind of look the same. Cross Houston and check out a place called Piano. Get a drink. Go upstairs with drinks and are promptly informed that it is table service only when we sit at a table. We go sit on a couch and she comes over and immediately tells us that the table service only goes for the couches too. wtf.

22:30
Check out a few more bars - including Max Fish, which Vice has dubbed the coolest bar in New York. Not sure how that one happened. It's fine. But I am tired so before midnight we head back to the house.

01:30
Head to sleep after watching a bit of Entourage. I am addicted after watching 6 episodes in a row on the flight over.

Friday, July 6, 2007

12:00
Get out of bed. Feel alright. Take a shower. Watch some entourage as I eat the oatmeal Dave made me. What a prince. A predictable prince in this case, but a prince all the same.

14:20
Go for a run. Do a loop that goes first to the east coast of Manhattan island, then through alphabet city, then down to Houston before turning back west. Make my way slowly back. Jogging/walking/going into stores. Find a cool sneaker store with great prices and tons of styles but everything seems to only exist up to a size 8.

16:40
Get home after a stop off at Whole Foods (god I love that grocery store) and Jamba juice (another one I have missed in Berlin and can GUARANTEE would be a hit over here). Perhaps with a bit of a more indie logo. But after they got into it they could have any logo they wanted.

17:30
Dave comes by the house. I am watching entourage. We both crack a beer. Dave basically stops at that point. I hadn't realized that he doesn't drink beer anymore. What a guy. And now he is:
"...really into Tequila now, but only good Tequila."

19:00
We make it out, with the flask in tow (filled with gin, and ice cold from the freezer - though basically all it does is freeze Dave's ass for the subway ride, by which time it is warm).

19:20
Walk around the lower east side looking for a place to eat. Pass by an art opening and stop in. It is fucking sweltering inside, but we brave the heat and make our way to the back for a free beer (or at least I do). I try to step outside the front door to drink it in order to minimize sweating and am immediately told:
"not allowed out here with that bro"
What an ASININE LAW! Only in North America. The land of the free. But the land where you can't sit in the park with some friends and have a beer. What a terrible joke - and I realize this all the more coming from Berlin. The problem is also that the few places in the country where you can drink in the street (Vegas, Key West, etc.) people are so excited about it they go bananas. So then anti-public drinking people are like:
"See?! I told you!"
When obviously it is the incredible restriction itself which creates these over the top excesses. Enough.

20:05
Go to a restaurant with a patio. Try to order a Mai Thai. They don't know what it is so I have to explain it. I feel both slightly proud and slightly like a loser doing this. Dave gets a French 75. We order burgers.

20:15
A table on the outside patio opens up, we nab it. Drinks and food are great. Waiter is great. Just the right amount of service and friendliness. I order a beer and Dave a glass of tonic water which we douse with some gin from the flask.

20:30
Talk to Ying-Ying - she is heading to the Vice photo party and gives us the address. We find it on the map.

21:10
Riding the train to Williamsburg in the Bronx I see a girl who looks suspiciously like Ying Ying (remember I haven't seen her in 5 years or so). I call her. She sees her phone ringing and looks at it but doesn't answer. Totally busted. I tell Dave that it is Ying Ying. She turns and looks at us looking at her and gets that dawning recognition look. Priceless.

21:25
Get to the Vice party. Cans of Colt45 are being given away. Don't think I have had one since university. Actually seems better than I remember. See some photos. Meet a couple Austrian girls. Try to talk German to them. They humor me for a few minutes. And it is fucking hot inside, but of course no drinking on the sidewalk. We're in a civilized country here.

22:00
Party finishes up, follow a coupe of Ying Ying's friends to another bar.

22:45
Getting pretty drunk at this point. Steal a drink just so that I don't have to wait in line at the bar. Don't really remember our conversation. Dave seems to be in a good mood.

23:30
Go to a bar that some guy recommended to me. It is Dave, YingYing and I at this point. The bar is mediocre. We go to sit outside and see a party in the 4th story of the building across the street. Dave is about to go check it out when YY surprises us by puking right beside where she is sitting.

23:45
Hang out talking to Ying Ying while dave reconnoiters the party. YY decides that she is too drunk to continue (after puking again) and takes a cab home. I meet Dave and we head into the house party.

00:20
Talk to a Japanese girl on the balcony at the party with Dave. She is hilarious in that Japanese girl way. You almost want to experiement with their heads as much as talk to them. Dave asks the classic:
"what's your favourite flavour" question.
But doesn't get the answer he was hoping for (mayonnaise).

0:55
Decide to head back to the lower East Side for some bar hopping.

2:25
Spend about 5 bucks in the jukebox trying to get it to play the same song over and over. No success. We are suspicious about how connected to the sound system the jukebox actually is.

2:30
Follow this up with 2 man pinball. One per flipper. Inefficient but exciting. We reach a high of 9 million. Replay at 36. No matches.

3:15
Go to the dark bar or whatever it is called across from Max Fish. They are playing good music and we dance a bit and then decide to head home.

4:00
Play brick breaker on YingYing's blackberry (which she forgot on the ground and Dave, luckily, found) all the way back on the subway.

SATURDAY JULY 7, 2007

10:50
I wake up and look at the clock on my computer. 16:50. I can't fucking believe it. I slept (and apparently Dave too) until 5pm. I run down the hall to tell Dave, and as I open the door it dawns on me that my computer is still on Germany time. Feeling equal parts foolish and relieved I watch some episodes of Entourage since the adrenaline surge has put falling back asleep out of the question.

12:20
Dave gets up. Makes oatmeal. Attaboy. We watch some Entourage. Dave hasn't seen it before but immediately gets into it. Of course. We read our 7:30am messages from YingYing apologizing for the night before. We dawdle around for a while. I remember that the song I was thinking of at the jukebox the other night was Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up". We put it on repeat (NB: credit for this selection goes to Bill Simmons).

14:10
Leave the house and show Dave whole foods. He gets excited about the raw sprouts. He says:
-They're an energy food!

14:30
Go to Best Buy to get a camera for the weekend that I will return on Monday. See the one I want and ask the salesman for it. As he is taking it out he starts his spiel:
-Well there are two warranties we offer with this camera, you can either get 2 years for 24.99 or -
I cut him off there.
-No thanks, I'm not going to take any warranty.
He gives me a look.
-Ok, so, there's a 15% restocking fee on the camera (the camera is 200 bucks, therefore 30 dollar restocking fee).
He slaps a sticker to that effect onto the box and tells us to meet him at the cash. We do no such thing and leave the store post-haste.
We begin laughing when it dawns on us how utterly transparent our scheme was, and decide to try and find out if the 15% is a standard fee at some point

14:45
Go into Staples across the street and act very indecisive over which camera to buy. I hem and haw for a while and then "seriously consider" the extended warranty. We get the camera minus a restocking fee.

15:15
Drop off the camera box at the house. Leave. Realize about 20 minutes later that I left the battery in the charger at home. So now I have to carry around the camera in my pocket all night for absolutely no reason. I am D-lighted.

17:00
Walk/bus it toward Chinatown. Stop in Washington Park. What a great scene. Don't know where I would find that in Berlin. Or anywhere in Europe.

17:23
Check out some second hand books. Buy A Quiet American and a book on writing by Twain. Great selection and the guy really knows his stuff, but doesn't flaunt it.

17:50
Head south and call Ying Ying - she is one block away. We meet up by an ice cream truck.

17:55
I see a guy selling Rolexs on the corner. I get him to go from 60 to 30. Should have got him to adjust the size however.

18:30
Canal street is a nightmare for walking but we finally make it to the dumpling place Ying Ying knows.

18:47
Dave burns his tongue on the dumplings. They are great. The rest of the food we get is mediocre. The place is packed. We have to share our table with another 3 people. I kind of like it.

19:22
Go to a chinese ice cream place. Get durian and something else. It is actually really good but I am so full I can barely get it down. Dave fills in pretty well though.

19:50
Walking home we stop in to check out some Ted Baker shirts for Dave. In pink of course.

20:15
Get home and have some gin. Sit on the fire escape.

21:50
Head over to 230 on 5th - a recommendation by a girl on somewhere to go have a drink "high up". There is a huge line and we are about to puke but then notice it is moving incredibly fast. We jump in and within 5 minutes are on the elevator up. The view is amazing. 20th floor in Midtown. We get a couple drinks and sneak in the servers entrance to the VIP area which is less crowded and grab a couple of seats there.

22:07
A waitress comes by and tells us that she is on to us, but that she won't kick us out right away - we can finish our drinks. I am impressed.

22:17
A pair of girls sit down with us. We have a fairly typical but enjoyable conversation.

22:35
The waitress comes by again and we have to leave this time.

23:05
Take a taxi down to the club on Greenwich street where the misshapes party is happening.

23:15
Not delighted with the 10 dollar cover.

23:20
Even less delighted with the 7 dollar bottled beers.

23:35
Music is getting pretty good.

2:10
Decide to head out. Decide to walk.

2:30....etc
End up walking all the way home with numerous stops for pizza on the way.

3:ish
Get home, start watching Entourage, I keep falling asleep.

SUNDAY JULY 8, 2007

12:10
Wake up. Put on some Entourage (the episode I slept through last night). Dave makes Oatmeal.

12:15
Head over to Whole Foods to get some sprouts to go with the Oatmeal.

14:40
Finally leave the house to head over to Coney Island. Go to Whole foods for "lunch" on the way. Love the whole foods lineup system.

15:20
Our express train becomes slightly less express-ive as it stops before Coney island and we have to wait 20 minutes for the next one.

15:50
Get to Coney Island. It is about what you would expect. Which is pretty great. The sun is blasting and people are dotted all over the beach.

16:10
I take a very brief dip. The water is cold and I can see garbage in it.

16:28
The batting cages no longer seem to exist. Sad news.

16:34
The Nathan's hot dog line doesn't seem to be moving at all. I give up.

17:15
Check out the Coney Island history museum/tiny room. Is actually really interesting. They used to have a hotel with 34 rooms in the shape of an elephant in the late 1800s. It burnt down after 12 years, but "seeing the elephant" became a euphemism for having sex.

18:00
Take the express back to Manhattan.
Only it isn't the express anymore. It takes forever. Luckily Dave is farting so much that the girls sitting next to us, after laughing, get up and move to the other side of the train. I remain sitting next to Dave.

19:10
Go to Best Buy and Dave does the "test". Not only that but he does it while talking with a German accent. Turns out there is no restocking fee. Motherfuckers.

19:22
Dave gets some overpriced produce for his ailing stomach.

19:30
I introduce Dave to the wonders of Jambajuice. He goes for energy boost.

19:45
Back at the house we are slightly less excited for eating after stuffing ourselves with a large Jamba shake. We realize that the new episode of Entourage is on tonight and get excited until we realize that we can't watch it because we don't get HBO.

21:40
Finally leave the house. Destination: Lower East Side. Ying Ying decides to meet us.

22:19
After walking around for a while we finally decide on a place with a checkered floor. It is good and decently priced. I order Salmon and a Mai Tai. Of course, I have to explain how to make the Mai Tai. Dave gets a French 75. Ying Ying a mojito.

22:32
Get our drinks. The guy at the door who was so effusive about how amazing the drinks here are was exaggerating a bit. I always find that a bit suspect. Really, how amazing can you really make a Mojito?

23:15
Discover that this restaurant has the worlds biggest urinals. I have never seen anything like it. I can't explain it. I feel like I am in Kindergarten again.

23:50
Decide juke box and pinball at Max Fish is in order. So we go there.

0:15
After feeding the juke box 5 more dollars we realize that it really and truly is a lost cause. Or has a built in mechanism meant to derail mono-song choosers like us. We go to pinball.

0:35
Are doing pretty well. Even get a match. We decide to make the move and switch to Spanish. Ying Ying points out that this would be a great way to learn a language. We wholeheartedly agree.

0:55
Or was it closer to 2am? In any case, we decide that it is time to go.

1:30
Back at home we try and download the newest version of Entourage. Is not coming down fast...decide to save it for the AM.

MONDAY, JULY 9, 2007

9:00
Dave is up...oatmeal is on....we watch Entourage and he heads into work....

10:40
Finish packing up, wash up and head out the door.

11:10
Get some sunglasses at Filene's Basement and 2 pair of shorts at TJMaxx upstairs. What the hell were TJMaxx thinking when they made their name? Maxx? I find it a bit suggestive. "Our prices are so low they're almost pornographic".

12:30
Go to wholefoods and get lunch. Am almost totally out of cash now. Eat back at the house.

13:40
Am sweating like crazy, the bags are heavy, as I run a couple last errands for people in Berlin. Next time I tell no one that I am going.

14:30
Meet Dave and give him the keys.

14:50
Catch the E train back to the airport. Or at least to that money grab they call the Air Train.

The END of NYC.

The boots were made for walking...

2007-07-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

I found this yesterday on my way to buy a six pack.

The boot print was not mine.

Return of the Plow

2007-06-25T04:47:00.000-07:00

I was at White Trash, a Berlin institution - now located on Schonhauser Allee (#6 or something) - when it happened. In fact a number of things happened, but the one most directly related to the reanimation of this blog was a conversation I had when I sat down at a table with the friends of a girl from California. She was hanging out with a few Americans and when I introduced myself suddenly one of them experienced a case of jawdrop.

-Hey, are you the guy with that blog? Deerplow?

I was had already had a few drinks and was at a bar where an extremely inebriated middle-aged man and woman were up on stage getting undressed and groping each other in an incredibly lewd manner - all while Karaoke was going on behind them (on a Wednesday night)
- so this question seemed to confirm to me that I had somehow stumbled into a David Lynch movie.

Even now, the idea that a complete stranger in a foreign country recognized me at a bar for a blog I didn't think anyone really read and hadn't updated for 6 months makes my head spin.

On a side (but related) note, White Trash, sadly is becoming a bit of a tourist draw. This is the same bar that used to have its own tattoo parlor next door where you could get a tattoo of "White Trash" on your arm and then were able to drink for free for life at the bar. The tattoo parlor was open all night so you could, essentially, get hammered, run out of money, go to the tattoo parlor, get your tattoo, and continue where you left off. They had to close that down, eventually, as, in the end, hundreds of people got the tattoo and it was killing their business. Also, at that time, you could order a steak from the kitchen at any time of night and that is exactly what you would get. A steak. With nothing else.

Flags and Ratios

2006-12-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

10:19 is the ratio of the flag of the United States of America. My question is whether this was done purposely, or by some sort of error that just got past on down until it was just too late to change.

Most flags seem to be 2:1. Germany is 3:5. Japan is 7:10 (and is their Naval Ensign dope or what?!). I never realized that flags had such diverse dimensions until now. I always just considered them rectangles. Boy was I wrong.

And then I saw the USA's Naval Jack. What the F?! Who did that, the Andrew Jackson's nephew?

Brave New World

2006-11-16T17:38:00.000-08:00

So, we are heading toward Sondre Stromfjord (located just north or the arctic circle), as I read the sports guy and watch youtube. I am not sure that I like this.

After the initial excitement of the "concept" of being able to surf the web (for free no less - apparently the company that provides SAS with their internet connection is revoking their service next month, so until then, c'est la fete - free internet for all), now I am beginning to miss the actual disconnection of being in an airplane. I mean, with skype I could actually have a video conference while flying over the Atlantic. It kind of ruins my cozy image of a plane.

Anyway, it's bed time for me (now that Click is over). And, whoa...on my new laptop when the lights went out the keypad lit up.

LOST

2006-09-22T22:56:00.000-07:00

I lost a digital camera tonight. I went to the AMGettingPaid video premiere (which was kind of good except for the fact that they had to have about 5 rap acts before - are those things EVER fun to listen too live?) and walked out minus 1 camera. The somewhat annoying thing is that it was not even mine.

It would be great to open a closet one day and have all the things I have lost in it. It would include:
_2 video cameras (one on an airplane, one left outside overnight)
_4 skate boards (Montreal, Toronto, etc...)
_1 midi controller (Toronto subway)
_1 scooter (Korea)
_Tons of sporting goods (footballs, basketballs etc...)
_Insane amounts of clothing (especially hats)

I know I am missing a ton of stuff still. But it is not all that much fun to think about it so I will stop now.

One thing I can't believe I DIDN'T lose (knock on wood) is my laptop. It has been left everywhere (including the floor of Union Station in Toronto during rush hour for 90 minutes).

The good news is Futureshop has a nice deal on 1GB SD cards - 19.99 after rebate.

INTERVIEWS

2006-09-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

Today was spent trolling the streets of Montreal for people to interview for our upcoming Accidents Issue - which should be out by tomorrow night.

It was kind of an interesting experience. I have interviewed people a fair number of times and it is always a bit of an interesting dynamic. Just by telling someone you are interviewing them you are putting the two of you on slightly separate levels: one person who gets to ask the questions (you) and the other who gets to answer them (interviewee). In some ways their only power is to refuse to answer.

Doing interviews today sometimes I cringed at how bad my questions were, but generally you are cut some pretty large leeway - as the other party is so self-conscious and worried about how they are presenting themselves, and whether they are answering the questions "well", that they generally don't notice. They just get confused. Clearly both interviewing and getting interviewed are acquired skills.

According to wikipedia there are 4 reasons people submit to interviews:

1. Ego
2. Publicity
3. Money
4. Helpfulness

By the way, if you are not exactly sure what a pundit is (they often appear in interviews) as I was, then check this out.

Also, there are certain interview terms that are kind of interesting. We have all heard of "off the record" and "soft" questions, but how about:

"BACKGROUND"
material can be used but its source cannot be mentioned

"DEEP BACKGROUND"
information cannot be used on its own, and can only confirm information already obtained from another source

Here is a bit of an honor role of interviews you should probably see, in no particular order. Please email deermail *at* deerplow.com if you have any other recommendations.

1. We all saw Jon Stewart on Crossfire, but Zappa also had a pretty sweet showing back in 1986.

2. I think this interview with Tyson would qualify as a "difficult" interview subject.

3. Perhaps you have seen it, but Ben Affleck is totally trashed and will not stop talking about the girl's rack who is interviewing him - who he makes sit in his lap.

4. Apparently Crispin Glover was on acid for this interview with Letterman.

5. Harvey Pekar also makes a go of it with Letterman.

6. Another famous drunk interview is Joe Namath's. Not exactly high comedy, but I just wonder about the pre-interview screening process. Could someone not have noticed Namath was totally blitzed and just been like "maybe next week Joe..."?

7. Bush may have on a bit of a buzz here. His jokes are definitely pretty bad. They are playing Surfing USA in the background.

Carling BLACK LABEL is no joke

2006-09-08T19:26:00.000-07:00

$4.50 with tax and deposit gets you 1.18 litres (40 ounces) at 8%. Ever notice how in some countries instead of % it is °? BTW On Apples, the degree sign can be typed by option-shift-8, and on Windows by typing ALT + 0176 on the numeric keypad (what?! Is that really the best they could come up with?). Try it, it feels kind of like magic.

Magic provides a nice segue back into the heart of this post. Carling BLACK LABEL. As described by Molson:

Brewed in Canada since 1926 using a slow fermentation process and top-quality ingredients, CARLING BLACK LABEL is a light, clean-tasting blond lager with a subtle hint of hops.

CARLING BLACK LABEL is an easy-drinking quality beer that needs no more introduction.

But they decide to give it a bit more anyway, because it continues (though maybe the writers consider this the "body" and not the introduction of the description)...

Its distinctive black label gives it a mysterious, sensual and somewhat rebellious air.

To satisfy the full spectrum of consumer tastes, the CARLING BLACK LABEL family now includes Black Label, Black Light and Black Dry which are complemented by a selection of beers with a higher alcohol content (from 5.9% to 10%) available in economical 1.18-litre bottles.

Time for a bit of math. A 6 pack of beer runs about $9 here. 341ml*6*5%/$9 = 11.4ml of alcohol/$. Carling? 1180ml*8%/$4.50 = 21.0ml/$. Basically twice as much. And there is a 10% version, remember?

There is an ad for Carling Black Label that I found too. It baffled me.

Interestingly, Carling is the best selling beer in the UK selling 1 billion pints in 1999. But this is not the same animal as the 8.0% Black Label Supreme I am working on now.

The Black Label Big 10 (10%) is currently sitting at a 1.03/5 rating on RateBeer, its reviews include the following comments:

I’ll never rink[sic] that again.

This shit is rough.

My wife is away on vacation for 4 days, it’s the longest we’ve ever been apart and I’m lonley[sic], so I went to the dep, got the strongest 40oz I could find and now I’m reviewing it...I missed work cuz I’ve been vomiting all day...

Careers

2006-09-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

I interned at a movie production company for about a month answering phones and doing odd jobs.

One of the guys there spent at least two hours a day trolling around IMDB, tracing the careers of the lowest crew members--the production assistants mainly--who worked on famous or infamous movies. For example:

Days Of Thunder.

Amy Andrews is listed as a production assistant. After "Days Of Thunder" her career really took off. She switched to working in the costume department, which was probably her job of choice anyway, and worked on some great movies "A River Runs Through It," and "I.Q." and some terrible ones, "200 Cigarettes" and "The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle." But she worked steadily after it, which is what everyone in movies really cares about anyways.

Who else was a PA on "Days Of Thunder?" Lorion Bunyea.

According to her IMDB page "Days of Thunder" was the only movie she ever worked. What happened to her (or him)? Was working on movies too stressful?

This is where the guy I worked with would usually end his searches. He was mostly interested in the cases where someone in a low position would rise to the highest, for example Kathleen Kennedy who began her career as an assistant to John Milius on 1941 and went on to produce 90% of Steven Spielberg's films. But what if you dug deeper?

Where is Lorion Bunyea now? If you google "Lorion Bunyea" you get about 40 links, 39 of which lead back to "Days of Thunder." If it wasn't for that movie she would have no virtual identity.

IMDB is great for career sleuthing. Unfortunately it's really the only thing of its kind out there. It would be great to have a similar searchable database for other things, like bands. You could search through the band history of Tommy Lee, Pat Smear, or someone that played with everyone like Jeff Baxter. This would be great for someone who would like to know where the singer of their favorite band ended up, or know what embarrassing bands he played in before he made it big.

Or it could be even more far-reaching. Right now MySpace has your current friends, but it doesn't go into your history. How much more fun would MySpace be if you could go to someone's page and have an "ex-girlfriends" link or an "old best friends" link that you could search around? Would you spend hours on it every day? Exactly.

Finding things Out

2006-09-06T00:02:00.000-07:00

This Monday I was at a friend's house for a barbecue and passed a beer to a Greek guy, recently arrived in Canada to pursue post-doc work at McGill. After everyone had received their respective beer and opened them he stood there looking baffled. He had never seen a twist-off beer top before. That actually seemed pretty cool to me. I like when you take a long time to discover a pretty basic thing.

For instance, recently, I learned that on BMW cars the last 2 numbers in their "name" (ie. 325) tell you how big the engine is (2.5 litres in this example). That blew my mind. Afterwards whenever I saw a BMW I got a little thrill knowing how big the engine was.

I think this is a common phenomenon. Bill Simmons, of ESPN page 2 fame, recently wrote an article about a trip to Milwaukee where he discovered the meaning of the Brewer's logo:

Did you know that the baseball glove on the old Brewers hat was really an "m" resting on top of a lower-case "b"? Everyone's incredulous that I didn't know that.

That inspired me to do some research on another logo mystery that has always baffled me, but that I never really thought about enough to learn the answer to (even when it was my friends wearing a hat with said logo). The Montreal Expos. And so here is the deal:

A stylized M for Montreal, also forming a red E for Expos,a white L for League, and a B for baseball, coming together as "Expos League Baseball." Also rumoured to be C B for majority owner Charles Bronfman.

Reading here though, there is a bit of disagreement. Some say it means Expos de Montréal Baseball - and this is apparently from the media guide. I always thought it was "elb" myself, but I am not going to dig any deeper. I like that there remains a bit of mystery.

Culture Clash

2006-09-04T12:11:00.000-07:00

Here is a great example of a culture mash-up.

Ewan Telford created Apocolypse OZ by taking the scripts from "Apocolypse Now" and "The Wizard of OZ," extracting dialogue from each, and creating a hybridized third script, which he then filmed.

It is a great short and I reccomend you see it if it's playing at a festival near you, which is possible because it has been picked up by many film festivals and is traveling all over the world. Either way it's worthwile to check out the trailer on the Apocalypse Oz site.

There have been a lot of mash-ups lately. Some more succesful (The Grey Album = The White Album, The Beetles + The Black Album, Jay-Z) than others (The Beachles = The Beatles + The Beach boys).

Let's hope other people follow Ewan's lead and create mash-ups from popular movie history. Only next I would like to see a sports movie mashup. What would be a good pairing with Chariots of Fire?

Maybe Spartacus? School Ties? Hoosiers?

Jimmy Chitwood could be a mashup of himself and the two runners from Chariots of Fire, Liddell (a Christian Scot) and Abrahams (a Jewish Englishman). And instead of the Indiana state championships the team would be going to the 1924 Summer Olympics. I would watch that.

And you know what would really be great, if you could watch "Chariots of Fire" with an entirely different score.

Why change the most memorable score of the last 25 years?

Listen to this.

If you haven't watched "Chariots of Fire" lately, you should simply to hear how poorly the synthesized music has aged in this movie. Last time I watched it I put it on mute and read the subtitles.

However, the score is remembered very fondly. How did this happen? I guess it's the whistle factor.

Amazingly "Vangelis" (his Greek name has 29 letters) won the academy award for the film score. Huh? What was going on in 1981? I'm not sure if this explains it, but "Bette Davis Eyes" was the number one single for the year.

I really like "Chariots of Fire" but I am going to wait until someone re-records the score without a synthesizer. It would add another 100 years to its shelf life. Moreover you could do this with thousands of movies from the 70s and 80s, the decades in which cocaine and synth collided.

Would you rewatch Teen Wolf scored by the RZA? What about the Pink Panther re-scored by Patrick Doyle? I would pay to see either one in the theatre.

Let's hope that catches on.

Nice Work

2006-09-03T09:36:00.000-07:00

This is a factory on the Lachine Canal (I think) in Montreal. The factory in the background is huge. And someone managed to tag the two silo-like cement things they have there (as you can see). The letters are enormous - I would estimate at least 10 feet tall. So how the hell did they do it is my question? Did they really take a harness and climbing gear? It must have taken hours too - and this is clearly viewable from a fairly heavy traffic area. And it is well lit up at night. Or perhaps this is Quebec's cultural funding at work. In any case, wow.

And here is myself going for a shop at 3 monkeys. I don't have a good reason for posting this, other than the fact that it exists. And yes, it seemed funny at the time. I was just imagining a store full of people who kind of shopped like that. I think there is a good commercial in there somewhere.

Le Danse

2006-09-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

You know. Just a bit o' dancing going down at 3 monkeys. Yep.

Late Night Thoughts

2006-08-30T23:51:00.000-07:00

It's three AM and the train that runs next to the apartment (wait, sorry, "loft") building is on its way through.

Want to hear something crazy? From a 1994 paper entitled The Full Costs of the Car I:

...a 50-ton, 4-axle truck can cause an estimated $6 per mile worth of damage to a rural arterial highway.

It must make it a bit more fun to drive one of those things knowing that. What a weird figure, in any case. And also from that report:

...60,000 square miles have been paved over...

That's enough to pave over all of England and still have enough to pave over all of Liechtenstein (150 times).

Anyway, enough with the numbers. They tend to get tedious after about 5 of them.

Take a look at the colors of noise. White is only the tip of this fascinating iceberg...

Caught on Tape

2006-08-28T13:47:00.000-07:00

This happened last night outside our apartment building

Wayback

2006-08-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

This is a video of Michael Jordan beating John Starks and then the rest of the Knicks back in '91. It took me a while for it to download and it is tiny, but man.
I spent about 5 minutes going through it frame by frame.

I found it while perusing old NBA.com pages on the wayback machine.

Commercials

2006-08-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

I was trying to come up with some ideas for commercials, so obviously ended up at youtube, where I came across this gem.

And is THIS actually a real commercial? I knew US commercials were pretty lame after living in France for a while, but we are REALLY missing out.

Les Crazy Legs

2006-08-23T19:23:00.000-07:00

Film Everything

2006-08-23T12:22:00.000-07:00

After watching this clip of Chris Haslam, Clint Peterson, and Benny Fairfax I had to just sort of shake my head and say to myself again: YouTube is cool.

No one would pay to produce this, pay to watch it, or even stick it in the video liner notes of a DVD as an afterthought. It's not a shame, it's just the way it is. I wouldn't pay for it. Nevertheless it reminded me of being younger more than any skate video I've seen in the last couple of years, and had me reaching for the kleenex.

Moreover this is just really cool. Could you imagine finding a youtube link for a game of horse between Larry, Michael, and Magic in which they missed a ton of shots? Or footage of Whitney, Paula, and Madonna taking turns trying to hit the high C while their voice's cracked?

Thank heaven for dopey camcorders.

Streethorsing. Another one bites the dust.

2006-08-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

From streethorsing:

* Now another guy from WESC came knocking on my door. These assholes just wont quit. This time he started throwing cash in my face and telling me how cool Streethorsing is and that they want to put me up on their payroll. Allot of cash and the story of my life. I told him to go to hell and take his god damn imperialistic t-shirts with him.

And later

* I saw a hot saddle today in a sleazy horse boutique. Looks damn snobbish but i think my ass and Poolman's back would be happy. Some of that cash from WESC could really come in handy...

Yeah. So the launch of the WeSC '06 Streethorsing collection is august 31. This kind of thing makes me feel a bit sad. Is it possible to co-opt everything that is kind of sweet? Yes, I know the answer. And maybe it isn't sad after all. I could be convinced. If the price was right.

What is a Story. And how to tell it.

2006-08-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

I was reading this manifesto by Ira Glass today (of This American Life fame). For some reason Ira's way of writing reminds me a bit of John Maeda. I don't know if this is strange or not, or if I am just confounding people that I enjoy reading/hearing in my head. Anyway, the manifesto is good, as are the question/replies. A sweet one was the following:

Anaheed Alani - 12:47am May 18, 2004 EST (#28 of 146)

Dear Mr. Glass,

I enjoy your program.

Is there anyone you've had sex with that your girlfriend doesn't know about?

Sincerely,
A listener

Ira Glass - 12:50am May 18, 2004 EST (#29 of 146)
Very clever "Anaheed Alani" ... a.k.a. MY GIRLFRIEND.

The answer's yes. Your momma.

SATURDAY NIGHT

2006-08-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday night was spent with Joe and Jae. Everything you see below is true.

Yawn Party

2006-08-20T11:16:00.000-07:00

This made us laugh for about 30 minutes.

How-Two

2006-08-19T17:10:00.000-07:00

We're posting this because we care about you.

Tragedy?

2006-08-19T16:55:00.000-07:00

What every rollerblader in Montreal needs to see.

Go Go Lounge

2006-08-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

Spent yesterday evening at Montreal's GoGo lounge. First went by an Irish pub where they had an open bar from 10-2:30. The line was a block long. $20 for guys, $5 for girls. I am very curious about their profit margins.

GoGo Lounge was quite good. Spent the evening watching a table of 4 (then 3) girls order rounds of 15 shots ($30 special). They ordered their first (of 3) rounds while Doyle and I had our first beer. They were done before we were. We just looked at each other in delight and amazement and laughed.

We also both sat in "hand" chairs (the place looks a lot better in the dark) for the first time. I don't know what to say about that. Music was good, and definitely a different scene than LA or Toronto. Less looking around perhaps.

Monday, August 7

2006-08-15T14:37:00.000-07:00

9:15
Woke up; got up four snoozes later.
Started drive to Ottawa.

13:00
Stop at Tim Hortons.

16:00
Arrive in Montreal - immediately see a loft for rent. Inquire. It is available for 2 months. We are psyched. Also get taken to another available and even bigger loft (2300 sq.ft.). The directions to get to this loft include a U-turn at an Ultramar gas station.

WE HAVE ARRIVED.

END OF ROAD TRIP.

Sunday, August 6

2006-08-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

12:30
Wake up to sound of waves hitting the rocky shore in front of Jamie's cabin. Play a game of foosball and Jae makes Daniel and I eggs.

13:30
Daniel and Doyle run to beach 2km and play soccer (Doyle, Daniel, Kyle Vs. Jae, Jamie, Joe). Run back.

16:30
Drive to Turkey Feed at the Roman Catholic church in Whitney, Ontario. Eat a large plate of food (stuffing, mashed potatoes, carrots & peas, cranberry sauce, and rolls. Topped with coffee and pie of which there are nine types.). Doyle is confused with a famous hockey player, someone with the last name Taylor.
Daniel plays bingo and wins on his first card. Prize: three citronella candles, a bas-relief of hummingbirds, and a wire basket.

20:45
Three more people show up at the cabin: Chris, Dave, and Allison. They join the group that goes out to fish from the docks beside the cabin. Doyle reads, Daniel tries to think up a thesis project.

21:00
Played poker. Cooked Marshmallows. Went to bed.

Saturday, August 5

2006-08-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

11:00
Phone rings. Automated wake-up call. Neither ordered it.
Call front desk to ask for a later check out time. One hour delayed check out costs $20 extra. Pack up.
Leave.
Eat at Tim Hortons.

15:00
Arrive Hamilton.
Eat at Tim Hortons.
Also eat at Williams Coffee shop.
Try to break into Jae's house.
Fail.

18:00
Arrive in Toronto.
Carabana weekend. Traffic stop and go for an hour.
Daniel suggests Kensington street. We go. Eat at Red Room. Try to get in touch with Torontonians.
Fail.
Daniel buys smoothie.

20:00
Eat at Tim Hortons and McDonalds. Doyle decides his affair with Tim Hortons muffins is over. Leave for Jamie's Cabin in Algonquin park.

24:30
Arrive at Jamie's cottage and meet up with Jamie, Jae, Joe, Brandy, Beth, and Kyle. Have a few beers and a bottle of red wine Daniel bought in Toronto. Play fosball and fall asleep at 4:00.

Friday, August 4

2006-08-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

11:18
Wake up. No alarm was set. Tell the housekeeping knock on the door:
Not just yet.

11:45
Breakfast at IHOP. Daniel gets oatmeal and 2 eggs, Doyle, just oatmeal. Oatmeal is $1.99, while each egg = $1.50.

12:30
Get on the road and get driving. As we get into Illinois it starts sucking as the freeway turns into a toll road. We have no cash and have to take an envelope and promise to send it back in within 4 days. Yeah right. And not only do we have to pay for a toll road, but the road itself is terrible. There is tons of construction being done and traffic is moving at a crawl. It seems dishonest, at least to Daniel, that they make you pay for something that doesn't even work. Doyle is mad that they aren't getting their own taxpayers to foot the bill.
Either way you look at it it sucks.

16:00
Stop to get food and cash at a mall. Daniel and Doyle both get Burritos to eat. Wish that there was a Jamba Juice around.

17:30
Doyle stops to get gas. Daniel is worried that they will never find the highway again after
the Byzantine route they take to the gas station. They do, and it is just as sucky as before.

18:30
Traffic finally starts moving just as Ben calls. Hilarious guy on 102.7 does the traffic report. He talks about a certain stretch of highway and then yells out:Messed up!!!

20:30
We get really hungry part way and stop in Ann Arbor. It is by far the coolest town we've been to yet. We both decide to study at some point at University of Michigan. Have a couple beers at a restaurant called ____ and have dinner. Daniel has a garden burger. Doyle has the house sandwich.

24:10
Try to check into a Best Western. Air show in town, cheapest room: $119. He says we should go down the road about twenty miles.

01:15
Decide to cross into Canada. Rehearse story for the border patrol. Border agent questions and replies: BA: Citizenship? Daniel: Canadian Doyle: US BA: How long have you been away? Doyle: Umm... Daniel: 1 week. BA: How long are you going to be staying in Canada? Doyle: Couple weeks. BA: Any drugs, firearms, or anything else to declare? Doyle: No. BA: Where did you meet? Daniel: Seattle. Doyle: Seattle. BA: Go ahead. Doyle: ! Both are amazed they didn't even check our passports. Agree that it is tempting to sneak weapons and drugs across the border.

01:40
Arrive in Windsor the Canadian Tijuana. Get a beer at the first place we see. Doyle thinks he is being given a free shot of alcohol and puts it back when he finds out it isn't. Waitress is not affable.

2:30
Daniel wants to gamble. Casino Windsor. He changes $50 at the roulette table and wins 35 on a black bet but loses $15 on side bets. $20 up. Goes to first open black jack table. Bets $40 on hand. Dealer shows a 9. Daniel has 12. Daniel hits for a 2; hits again for a 3. He stays at 17. Dealer shows an 11 hits two more times and ends at 17. Push. Daniel bets the same amount. He draws a 14; hits. Draws an 8. Bust. $30 left. Move to other table. Daniel bets $30 black. Ball: Red 19. $0.

03:00
Go to ABC motel. Check in. Room is a bread oven. Turn on the air conditioning and open all the windows and wait for an hour until the room cools down to sleeping temperature. Sheets are mysteriously full of holes.

Thursday, August 3

2006-08-15T13:46:00.000-07:00

04:45
Daniel begins driving. Sunrise.

06:10
Daniel can no longer stay awake, pulls over on an exit ramp.
Falls asleep.

07:30
Daniel wakes up. Resumes driving.
Sees signs for "A-maize-ing" Corn Palace. Intrigued, follows signs.

09:10
Stop to see Corn Palace, Doyle is excited, having seen a show about the Corn Palace on TV. The Corn Palace is a bit of a disappointment. It is basically a medium sized basketball stadium with a bunch of corn stuck on it.
We leave.

09:40
We stop at a Marlin's Roadhouse Restaurant for breakfast. Doyle gets oatmeal, Daniel gets 3 eggs and a Jumbo pancake.
The bill is $8.70.
We also get gas.

10:00
Daniel is obviously struggling, so Doyle takes the wheel. Daniel manages to sleep for 80 minutes while Doyle drives. Daniel is psyched about this.

14:00
Stop for lunch at HyVee (employee owned) grocery store for lunch. Terrible salad selection. Daniel gets a mediocre chicken caesar wrap, Doyle gets a Veggie sandwich. Daniel also gets Michigan blueberries, 1 pint, for $1.99. They are pretty bad however.

16:19
Another hour time change as we cross the border into Wisconsin (driving over the Mississippi River).

16:30
Stop and get gas. Daniel takes the wheel.

18:00
Daniel stops and gets a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard (sm), Doyle gets a coffee. Continue on to Madison. Doyle takes the wheel.

18:25
Arrive in Madison as they brainstorm zine issue ideas. Doyle is impressed by the State Capitol building. The university is also quite large. Daniel asks a guy working at the library for directions to the campus pool. His reply:
Um, you do realize this is the library?
Daniel did realize this. The guy (a student most likely) made it clear that HE had never been into the athletic center. Daniel and Doyle drive around for a while in search of the pool on their own without success. Doyle is hungry and goes to eat, Daniel goes for a run.

21:10
Doyle and Daniel meet at the car. Drive out of town to find a hotel.

21:50
Stop at a Motel 6 in Janesville. Daniel wonders what the theoretical difference between Motel's 6 and 8 is. Doyle informs Daniel that Wisconsin does not sell beer in convenience stores after 9pm. Watch Team USA play Puerto Rica in a exhibition game in Las Vegas before the basketball world championsips.

Wednesday, August 2

2006-08-15T13:31:00.000-07:00

08:45
Wakeup call.
Doyle and Daniel both go back to sleep without discussing it.

09:40
Wake up for real when housekeeping knocks.
Daniel was having a dream where he was at a party and standing in a pool with a bunch of people, fully clothed, having drinks.
Doyle had a foreboding dream, and may remember more later.

9:45
Go to breakfast. It is actually pretty good.
They had a set up with a waffle maker complete with individual cups with batter in them. You took the batter, stirred it, and poured it onto the grill and cooked the waffle yourself. It was sweet, but Doyle was not interested.
Doyle rediscovered oatmeal (instant).
Daniel also had oatmeal - he made a mistake/discovery when he put a bit of coffee into his oatmeal thinking it was water, then concluded with water - a bit of extra zing.
There was a family whose mother was embarrassed that her kid was watching the news, but not embarrassed that the entire family was decked out in sport sandals.

10:25
Go to library for internet. There are free magazines available, but most are pretty terrible. Question arises - which is worse:
1. A 3 year old Economist
2. A 3 year old Newsweek
We get lost on the way out of the library due to a rancid design. Daniel makes a snide comment when he suggests that Rem Koolhaas also designed this library. Doyle finds it funny, having just been in the Seattle library a few days prior.
Both Daniel and Doyle had agreed in a previous discussion that it doesn't take much to make a building that will be talked about, other than a bit of creative liberty and money.

11:15
Get a coffee (Doyle) at City Brew. Daniel is curious about why Doyle refuses to use the drive through. Doyle reveals that he is nervous about how they would pour the cream. The coffee place was recommended by the pony-tailed guy at the library information desk.

11:25
Clean the windshield at a gas station. It is filthy. Doyle suggests that we should make sure the bees that are flying around don't get in the car in a strangely animated manner.

11:35
Leave Missoula, get on the road about 2 hours behind schedule. Realize we really need to take the camera out of the bag. Argue about how cool putting the first letter of a town's name on a hillside actually is.

12:30
Begin two hours of brainstorming on Montreal ideas.

15:30
Stop at Albertson's for lunch.
Fill up on gas.

15:35
Get sun blocker's for the windows from NAPA. Also get solicited to buy lemonade (which we do - Doyle pays[50 cents]) from a couple of kids outside the store.

16:00
Hit the road again.

16:30
Switch drivers.

17:00
Discuss wether to take the I-90 or the I-94. After consulting the map together we decide the I-90 is better.

18:00
Daniel says,
We are on the I-94.
We decide to go to Miles city and then take a two lane road south to get back on the I-90.

19:45
Stop for gas. In Miles City. Daniel asks girl in Red Ford F350 for directions and recommendations for food. Daniel considers asking her out to dinner, but doesn't. Daniel remarks that it is a town out of a David Lynch movie. Subsequent encounters confirm.

20:00
Dinner at the Stagecoach. The hamburger bun was frozen in the middle.

21:00
Leave on 59-South to rejoin I-90.

10:35
Smoked a dear that was standing with a group on the side of the road and then ran directly into our path. It was gruesome. Blood and guts everywhere, exploding body in the air. The smell was perhaps the worst.
No wiper fluid, so when Daniel turned them on, it just smeared blood all over the windshield.
Pulled over and stopped on the side of the road for a minute.

11:15
Pull into a gas station in the middle of nowhere.
They don't have water, so we clean the car with the squeegees as best we can. There is a dent in the hood and the grill and one headlight are bent out of whack. When we pull out we get behind a big truck which we use as our DEER PLOW.
It is absolutely insane how many deer are on the sides of the road. Doyle and Daniel are both on edge.

11:35
Pull back onto I-90. Feel a bit safer.

01:30
Stop at Wall to look for a place to stay. Everything is totally full. It is incredible. We see the famous Wall Drug Store.
We decide to give up on staying in Wall.

01:40
Get gas. Leave Wall. Doyle drives.
Daniel tries, without great success, to sleep.

03:20
Doyle pulls over. We stop and try to sleep.
Daniel again has troubles dropping off, gives up.

Tuesday, August 1

2006-08-15T13:13:00.000-07:00

09:11
Daniel called Doyle from Seattle Amtrak station. Doyle woke up.

10:15
Doyle and Daniel enter Crave. Doyle says:
This place looks pretty sweet.
Doyle also poo poos Vancouver's cupcake store.
Faggy waiter with the memory of a goldfish checks twice to remind himself of our order (we ordered the same thing) Checks in a second time because he is a having a "crazy" day, and can't remember if we ordered drinks. We didn't.
We get our waters filled a half dozen times as faggy cook does his "thing" in the kitchen.
We receive our pathetic breakfasts.
They suck.

10:50
Leave Crave forever. Pissed off. Doyle decides to go for a muffin at this "good place" he knows.

11:00
Note: doyle's seaman's compass was in full effect.
Note2: It was Doyle who requested this note be made.
We arrive and order drinks and real food.

11:05
Rasta man sees my video camera and asks me if I want to shoot a commercial. He requests rates. I tell him we are just passing through, but ask what the product is.
You know, rims...(etc...)
Doyle notices from sidelines and is extremely nonplussed. (He loves rims)

11:30
Leave coffee shop after Doyle plays the ol' I gave you my license and I want it back trick. Girl is confused.

12:00
Realize we have made a large error. Turn around.

12:15
Hit the I90

2:00
Hit a bucket of balls at "the windiest place on earth". A gentle 5 mph breeze was blowing. (We drove the wrong way before finding the driving range, but it worked out as we were able to take a pee) The black lab was called black velvet. Guy says:
Are you guys retired?
We told him unfortunately not.
The place was called the Ellensberg Country club. A bit of a stretch.

2:20
Taco's del Mar, taco Tuesday. 4.99. Doyle asks for some cilantro. Girl:
No.
Doyle not amused. Sit under the palapa. Discuss opening Mexican restaurant, a la Baja Fresh, in Canada. Wonder how much effort/time would be required to make it work. Agree it would be a lot.

2:35
Ellensberg: Gas and Doyle juggles soccer ball. Get the computer out. Doyle's towel hits the pavement. Whoops. Talk about girls until 3:20.

3:30
Came up with 50 band names.

4:00
Discuss Montreal projects - talk about a show packaged around a theme complete with DVD and zine and special gift product, etc...

5:30
Go to a book store to try and find a computer book in Spokane. Lady:
Can I help you, because we're closing.
Doyle
Ok, well do you know where we can find a Barnes & Noble or something like that
thenLady
Actually, this is a Barnes & Nobles
Doyle
Ok

6:00
Go to another "Barnes & Noble" - get a book on making web pages. Doyle gets a coffee.

6:15
Got food at Wendy's. Daniel was disappointed by the Wendy's junior burger. The disappointment continued with a disgusting chocolate milk. Doyle liked the burger. Daniel blamed the US for the chocolate milk. Doyle will agree when he goes to Canada, Daniel promised.

7:00
Doyle and Daniel think up zine ideas.

7:30
Daniel studies up on making a web page while Doyle does Pimsleur French lessons. We are in Montana now, having passed through Idaho. Apparently girls from Doyle's (just saw a guy handcuffed on the side of the road) elementary school used to say
I-da-ho, you da pimp.

8:15
Doyle passes on the banana. Gets some beer nuts instead. Fool. Get gas. We are 57 miles from Missoula.

8:25
Daniel starts reading Marathon Man. Doyle gets nervous but doesn't say anything because he is also reading it. It is Doyle's book. But what are possessions when we are all on borrowed time?
Daniel is tired and wants to go to bed.

9:25
Arrive in Missoula, find a place to stay. Brookstreet Motor Inn. The sister hotel of Motel 6. Note, due to time change it is now actually 10:25.

11:00
Go for run. Locals seem to find this amusing.

00:00
Daniel returns and goes to Taco Bell drive thru. Doyle does Tai Chi. Daniel has a girl back up into him while waiting in the drive thru. She explains
I just wanted to change something in my order...
I am understanding.

00:25
Eat and complain about baseball. Both Doyle and Daniel agree that this is the worst time of year for sports.

00:45
Go to bed. Doyle has set up the pillow barrier. We talk about something cool but can't remember what. We try to fall asleep. Doyle gets up and turns air-conditioning on.